Sunday, 13 January 2013

JUST LETTING YOU KNOW..




Know it
That the veil
You put around me ,
Does not stop the sun's rays.
That all those birds you caged,
Never forget how to fly.
That the flowers you plucked,
Never froze its fragrance.

Know it ,
That my paint boxes you threw away,
Never stopped painting frescos
On my minds ceiling.
That my words you burnt,
Never stopped being poetry
On my dream's wall.
That my dreams ,you squashed and flushed away,
Never ceased to take wings
And fly..

FALL OF THE QUEEN



Into the abyss, she fell.
The first among the six to fall.
The death knell inside her
Failed to pale her mocha skin.
Magnificence-burnt out of it
Like a fired coal.
Her droplets of sweat
Sent out the scent
Of a thousand lotus blooms


Out of her lungs,
Rushed the air of life.
A scream might capture it back,
But no-
The queen closed her eyes,
She did not want to see
Her husbands-five in number-
Treading their way to heaven.
She let her heart flip a beat
She searched,through
The pleasant patches of her mind


The holy fire from where
She rose-clinging to
Her brother’s  finger
Indeed a cynosure-she was
Proclaimed to be the queen
To be remembered,
Till the end of time.

Her butter-lipped friend,who was,
As black as she was,
With peacock feathered brow
With words of a god and
Smile of a lover
Who listened and reasoned
Jeered and praised.

The sight of the swayamvar
Where kings-noble and novel
Mighty and majestic
Came with eager eyes
On the prize,
To make her-the lustrours
Black diamond of their crowns

Her palace..
With crystal stairs and lotus ponds
Windows  which  opened
To ever  fragrant gardens
Her palace,
Where the sun rose to see
Her kohl-lined eyes open.
Where the birds sang to see
The light of her smile.


Cold chillness speared
Into her being
She could hear Bheema’s lament
“why her, brother?”
“she loved only one..
More than everyone-Arjun.”
This one-the queen laughed-is
Always full of half truths!!
“I have only loved a single soul
But it was not that warrior prince!
How could i?when I never
Got enough of myself?”
The queen’s eyes shone,
From behind her lids,
For one last time.




Saturday, 12 January 2013

BLUE




The heights above and
The depths beneath
Roofing and flooring,
The chaos amidst.
Tranquil  and thoughtful,
Silent and strong.

THE JOURNEY



Life is a wagon
Slithering through two
Long rails-dreams and reality.
Too close, yet
Never do they meet.
One futile without the other.
Yet, they never
Stop to make peace.

They unfurl in front
Of you, beyond that
Whisper of fog-far away
Hiding swirls and snares
And what not on
Its never ending path.

Fate runs the wagon
Smirking at its
Clamour  and cries,
Tensions and tears,
Never glancing back at
That rare happy moment.

A lifetime torn
In between two worlds
Speeding past
In search of a point
Where they meet.

And just when that veil
Of fog falls, there,
At that point, a bit away,
You see them crossing.
Joining and smiling at you.

When you are about
To get there-
Fate pedeals the brake,
The wagon,
Comes to a screeching halt.

Then your soul-like smoke-
Rises up, wanders to that point,
And dwells there
Mocking at your
Famished self, laughing
At the mad race,
Which you are just done with.

ARE YOU AN ATHEIST


I've been asked this question for the second time this week. from two entirely different people from different age groups. "ARE YOU AN ATHEIST? "
Both the times ,the question came out of the blue, without me stating anything remotely related to atheism. But both the times, it made me think of what I believe in , have I ever tries tying my faith to anything supernatural or out of my reach ??

Well twenty-one years is not a long enough time to come to a conclusion as to what to be believed or what not to b believed
But I believe and I strongly believe in a POWER of CONNECTION (that is what I choose 2 call it) ; a really strong one which makes Jaani ( my 6 year old dachshund) wag her tail at me whenever I come home..the way we can read each others emotions from our eyes. I believe in the genuine worries of a mother who thinks her daughter is too rebellious for her own good . I believe in  the pride of a father who raised a confidant daughter. I believe in d purity of five-year-old Ibrahim's mind which found out that leaves talk in their secret language when it rains. I believe in Karthika's hugs and Farhana's dreams..I believe in their belief !

I believe there is a power of dedication in all works of art be it my amma's cooking , Neruda's poems, the innocence of Arundhati Roy's Esthappen and Rahel, the wide eyes of Disney's cartoons, Sabyachachi's sarees or Rahman's music...

But being born to non-practicing  Hindu parents -who'd be happy see me choose any religion, and raised in a Christian school for 14 years, where they taught me what is more important is being a strong individual who respects other's belief,  yet stand up for what they believe in..(my college however works on a different principle , but I never bothered to take a bit of it inside my head)  and being best friends with maybe d boldest Muslim girl ,I don't chain myself to any religious beliefs . I don't pray in front of a beautifully sculptures or stone idols or to any symbol or to any direction..BUT I respect everyone who believes in it and does it...and that exactly is my PRAYER.

Well...what is my label now? Atheist ?  Agnonist ? May be a humanist ( with a slight feministic inclination) or perhaps a religiously-unlabeled happy woman !! :-)

HOW I MEND A HEART-BREAK


These shreds of papers, these were
Your sound, your smell and your smiles
-Oh, darling loser-
The remains of my memories of you,
All scattered in shreds!
It does not deserve to be
Spun in my beautiful words
These do not deserve an urn
Neither an empty coffee-can
No..not even that garbage bin.

I set them on fire.
Like you did to me-turning
My breath into sighs-
The flames burnt away
The heart-break, which
Chocolates had earlier mellowed.
I pretty my eyes with kaajal
And off I go, shopping
For unwanted shoes.
Now that, will sweep away
The ashes left over..!

ESCAPADE




Make me a wind
Let me break the shackles
Let me fly
Away from you,
Away from the concrete jungle.

Let me soar past those men
Leaving behind all my sins
Leaving behind, the smiles,the sorrows
Leaving behind my head,
I'm tired of reasoning.

Let me carry my words
A drop or two of my paints
A this and that of my music.
The rest all left behind.
Memories poured into the empty
Darkness of the prevailing night.

Then I fly
I fly and fly
Caressing the leaves
Kissing the flowers.
And when I'm out of breath,
I climb on the softest cloud
And away I sail..
Till I reach that clearing
Amidst the pine trees.

I lay there on my bed of lush
Green shoots n velvety violets.
And then the music I carried,
Sings for me
I paint my world by sunshine
And spin my words by moonlight !

LAMENT OF THE PHOENIX



Why again? Why again?
Time and again , I have
Risen from my ashes..
And watching me ,you,
My sad little human, you’re
Fooled to think ,this
Is a blessed rebirth!

Know you what it is to
Burn your own being?

With it, I wish I could
Burn away my sorrows
Sins of the past million births
Tears, which welled up when
All my little ones flew off.

I wish I could burn away
All those lonely years
The age old thoughts ,from
The day, when time was born.



I wish I could burn away
The memories of those
Splendid falls and caverns
For there is nothing new
For me to see !

I wish I could burn away
All my songs, for there is
nothing new for me to sing!

And now, look at you
My little human,
You take birth with a
Promised closure.
You don’t know when, but you
 are given one-nevertheless.

And I, born before time
Lives on and on
Again and again
Singing this lone lament



I tell you-what you call
Eternity ,is nothing, but
An unwanted existence.



RED


Red was the color of the warmth around me
Which I thought, was my world.
Red was the happy spot between my mother's brows
Which smiled when she laughed.
Red was the trickle of pain ,
On my stone jabbed knee.

Red was the box pleated skirt,
Which dragged me to school.
Red was the beet-root curry ,which
Made me want to run back home.
Red were the friendship bands.
Red were the rakhis tied.
Red were those painful stains,
Month after month!
Red was the blush on my cheek
When he smiled.
Red were the roses he gave.
Red was the feeling when he left.

Red was the gulmohar on the college ground.
Red was the color of their flag.
"Red" was the name of the book she read.
Red was the bench we sat on,
Talking about it.
Red were the party lights,
Red were the streaks on
My dense black  mane.
Red were the Bloody-Mary's
Red were our 'high' eyes..

Red was the swollen love bite
Which he left on my neck .
Red was the mehendi on my palm
Red was the sindoor
On my hair-line !
Red was the pain
Red was the love.

Red was the blood smeared over
My baby, when I saw her first.
Red were the rashes on her bum.
Red was the candy she loved
Red was my lipstick which
She chose to mess with..
Red was the pillow I wept into
When she left to chase her dreams.


Red was the blood on the windscreen
After the crash.
Red was the walking stick I was given
On my comeback..
Red were a few of the pills I had to take.
Red was the fear
Every time I struggled to breathe.
Red rimmed were his glasses,from
Behind which,
His eyes kissed me
For the last time..

And now ,Red is the flame
Which is licking my being.