The Book !

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FOR SALE: a ring, a car and a bride.

Growing up with the Disney princesses, marriages were always the beginning of “happily ever after”s. But then, somewhere on my way to reality, I lost my glass shoe and the speed-dial for the fairy god mothers. ever since, pumpkins remained pumpkins and rats , rats!

I’m twenty two, single, just started my career (not the dream one, the make-shift one) and a single girl child. I’ve been raised by a very strong man with modern and liberal views- my dad and a mother who is epitome of everything homely, warm and lovely.

Whenever they restricted me from something which was too common among the people my age, I would spend hours sulking and revolting. But when I decided to stroll around a bit on their shoes, I wobbled a lot and then tumbled down. The unwritten clichés of the society gave me shoe-bites .

With their best efforts, they brought up a daughter who would be independent and would have her views and opinions on whatever which crosses her path. At the same time, they needed a gentle, compliant , and modest daughter , whom they could marry off to the perfect boy from the perfect family, which they would find out for her.

Species with all the aforesaid traits are not a rarity, but on the flipside, I could only take in the first part of it, and that is not a rarity either. Unlike the first category, this on-your-face-smartness shown by the female gender of homo-sapien  species, in certain parts of India , is frowned upon. Other side effects include, dark circles underneath mommy’s eyes and extra tension lines on daddy’s brows; especially when the rest of the population is conspiring with the universe to get their daughter married off before she turns into an old hag( read: 27 years or more).
And what do they do? THEY PUT UP ADS!! On newspapers, on internet and in addition to that, they make sure they spread the word around. THEY PUT HER UP FOR SALE. Attaching snaps of her showing off her healthy body with “assets” in place , then a close up of her face ( carefully photoshopped to the fairest shade possible).They list all her degrees, qualities and as if this is not humiliating enough, they give away free goodies..! Their hard earned money (converted into the yucky-yellow-metal or maybe into a car), so than an idiot, who managed to earn a post graduate degree and a decent job, but who couldn’t find a girl or stand up for the girl he found would take their daughter off.

This is too harsh and unfair point of view- I am aware of that, but I penned this down and has put it up because I strongly believe that my point of view is not as unfair and harsh as this practice. I do not deny the fact that a remarkable percentage of my country has found happiness in arranged marriages. I accept them as greater human beings than I can ever be, because they have successfully done something I cannot even possibly imagine.

What if someone-a woman- chooses to stay unmarried after maybe a 27 or 28 years of age? To begin with, why do you- a person who is not her best friend , immediate family or even a second cousin- have a problem with her? “SINGLE” is not a bad word for a woman . it might be the state in which that person has found happiness. She might be in a perfectly happy relationship with herself; she might just be afraid to tag another person along to alter or put a question on her sense of security or independence . It doesn’t essentially mean she die a virgin or an old maid. She might tumble into someone who will lead her to her “happily ever after”.

If single women are put under such scrutiny by the society, what chance does a divorcee stand ?why is a divorced woman a humiliation to the family? Is it because she was brave enough to let go of someone or an unhappy relationship and had the courage to be alone in the big bad world? And I bet, u might have heard women blaming other women in broken relationships for “not being able to keep her man” when the case is clearly his infidelity .

I do not advocate divorces for the drop of a hat, and “adjustments” is not a bad word either. It becomes bad when your life becomes a series of adjustments. What is the point of proving your worth to someone who is so blind to see it?? Why be a guard dog to his ego  when you could walk away with your self respect? Women, your worth is no more measured by the years you suffered in silence. Being your on fairy-god-mother is the only way out. If anyone tries to cut your wings, they should be turned into pumpkins.

As I read this out to my dad, I could see a confused smile on his face which read, “Errr… is this little girl going to give me a hard time?” and amma knitted her brows and glared at my dad which meant nothing other than “Whatever she writes, I will start a groom hunt when she is twenty four.” My best friend ,Fatima asked half-smiling “So…not getting married huh..feminist??”.

These are questions beyond my dream-filled twenty two year old brain. I might fall in love. I might get married. But for now,  I’m a wide-eyed woman who has an opinion on anything, who calls a spade a spade, who enjoy being a notorious spendthrift . I refuse to be labeled. I am alone. I am uncertain and afraid. And, I have found happiness in this confusion.

- The unlabelled happy woman.

Art work by a dear friend Ar.Sherina Siraj :)

GODESS OF SMALL THINGS

My love for the "GOD OF SMALL THINGS" is kind of well known among my friends..but there is a godess of small things in my house..my little furball with the ever waggy tail...

Few years back,when she was around 3-4 years,she had a cat-friend...we used to call that cat "peekkiri poocha" ..it came 2 see jaani evry morning by 11am..huddled on top of the compound walll..at a safe distance from jaani...and they used to sit there face to face peacefully...

Then there was a crow..whom i christened as "friendy kaakka" who had dis strange habit of picking up raw fish from the fisherwoman and offering it to jaani...she ofcourse ignored the fish..(she's very fussy..dat gal! ) but she waited for friendy kaakka to come evryday..

last week when i came home...amma was going on about how she is friends with a lizard..(whom i named lizzie) and oh my god..dis li'll 7 year old daschund of mine actually struck a cordial chord with a lizard..!!

may be next time i come home,it might be an ant whom i have to name...i dont mind as long as im amused by how she connects with all living organisms around her..my darling GODESS OF SMALL THINGS..!

THE GUAVA TREE

The guava tree, if one

Could remember,

Always  came with

Four skinny legs

Hanging down like

Limp tentacles

A pair, fair with

Silver anklets and

The other, dark

With painted toes

Old times,

When dreams sprang

Like tender leaves

From the tree

Soft, waxy ,fresh-green.

When all the cuisines

Of the world,

Shrank into a ball

Of soft sweet pink pulp

In a lush green coat!

When the seven

Wonders of the world,

Took the shape

Of an arm-stretched

Guava tree.

When life was

Tied around a tree, and

Went round and round

Around it, carefree and wide-eyed,

Bare-foot and sun-tanned.

Now,

When I look down,

My feet are sunk deep ,

Into the discomforts

Of a stiletto.

Just one pair of stiff legs.

I look around.

I see walls.

I walk to the window,

                                                                        Sipping the tasteless fine-blend.

                                                                       I push it open, to see

                                                                       A million more walls

                                                                       Frowning back at me.

                                                                       Shutting me out.

JUST LETTING YOU KNOW..

Know it

That the veil

You put around me ,

Does not stop the sun's rays.

That all those birds you caged,

Never forget how to fly.

That the flowers you plucked,

Never froze its fragrance.

Know it ,

That my paint boxes you threw away,

Never stopped painting frescos

On my minds ceiling.

That my words you burnt,

Never stopped being poetry

On my dream's wall.

That my dreams ,you squashed and flushed away,

Never ceased to take wings

And fly..

FALL OF THE QUEEN

Into the abyss, she fell.

The first among the six to fall.

The death knell inside her

Failed to pale her mocha skin.

Magnificence-burnt out of it

Like a fired coal.

Her droplets of sweat

Sent out the scent

Of a thousand lotus blooms

Out of her lungs,

Rushed the air of life.

A scream might capture it back,

But no-

The queen closed her eyes,

She did not want to see

Her husbands-five in number-

Treading their way to heaven.

She let her heart flip a beat

She searched,through

The pleasant patches of her mind

The holy fire from where

She rose-clinging to

Her brother’s  finger

Indeed a cynosure-she was

Proclaimed to be the queen

To be remembered,

Till the end of time.

Her butter-lipped friend,who was,

As black as she was,

With peacock feathered brow

With words of a god and

Smile of a lover

Who listened and reasoned

Jeered and praised.

The sight of the swayamvar

Where kings-noble and novel

Mighty and majestic

Came with eager eyes

On the prize,

To make her-the lustrours

Black diamond of their crowns

Her palace..

With crystal stairs and lotus ponds

Windows  which  opened

To ever  fragrant gardens

Her palace,

Where the sun rose to see

Her kohl-lined eyes open.

Where the birds sang to see

The light of her smile.

Cold chillness speared

Into her being

She could hear Bheema’s lament

“why her, brother?”

“she loved only one..

More than everyone-Arjun.”

This one-the queen laughed-is

Always full of half truths!!

“I have only loved a single soul

But it was not that warrior prince!

How could i?when I never

Got enough of myself?”

The queen’s eyes shone,

From behind her lids,

For one last time.

BLUE

The heights above and

The depths beneath

Roofing and flooring,

The chaos amidst.

Tranquil  and thoughtful,

Silent and strong.